Apple sucks. So does Google, Amazon, Spotify. Etc, but Apple really sucks. I won’t go down that road right now, partly because I don’t feel like getting that worked up but also because all that I needed for this post is the acknowledgment that they suck. Because they do. And because they do any opportunity to even slightly stick it to them is welcome. Based on the above you will not be surprised to discover that I am Android user. Love my Samsung phone and take perverse glee in the dirty looks I get from iPhone users when my texts and contacts come up outside their precious fruit tree ecosystem. It speaks volumes about Apple’s attitude that they feel the need to out anyone not willing to join their cult. They do all sorts of shady shit way more important than the piece I am about to get into, but this tiny slice of their assholery is offensive enough and I am glad to take it down. Let’s talk Magsafe.
Apple likes to call it a “charging system”. It is a circle of metal and a magnet. The actual charging system it uses is the Qi standard, which Apple had fuck all to do with developing. You know who uses the Qi standard technology? Just everybody. Your phone has it, my phone has it, my watch has it, it is ubiquitous in the industry. And, yeah, it is very cool. Being able to just lay your phone – or year ear buds or your watch or whatever – down on a charging pad instead of plugging it in is the best thing since sliced bread. Beats the hell out of the find a cord, find a cube, plug in the usb (with the near inevitable try-once-and-fail-flip-it-over-fail-again-turn-it-back-over-to-find-you-had-it-right-the-first-time exercise. Right? I hate that), hope it is compatible game. Awesome. But not Apple’s. To be fair, Apple did come up with idea of getting double use out of the magnets involved to attach it to the pad with a little metal ring. Well done, you fuckers. And to absolutely no one’s surprise they immediately made that little metal ring proprietary. Meaning that ostensibly no one else can use it so they can look down on all of us poor heathen who resist their evil clutches. Oh, and make a shit ton of money by selling MagSafe products to their loyal cultists, er, users. But here’s the thing. That little ring isn’t proprietary at all. Only the MagSafe name, products, etc are because MagSafe has nothing to do with the phone. All the stuff the phone sticks to is MagSafe stuff so when third party developers started calling things “MagSafe compatible” they were being silly. All they were compatible with was the very products they were trying to supplant. Oy. But some people finally got wise.
I went on a minimalist kick with my everyday carry a while back so got a stick on thingie for my phone case that holds my ID, two credit cards and a small amount of cash – not that I ever carry cash anymore. At about that same time I was doing some mods on my Ford Maverick that included a very cool and handy charging pad that fit perfectly in a spot under the dash. It also allowed me to hook up my Android Auto wireless adapter so when I got in the truck I just dropped my phone into place and it was ready to charge and do its auto thing with out any cables. Far out, pat myself on the back. Turns out the aforementioned thingie was just thick enough when loaded to make the charge connection inconsistent. Dammit. But taking the cards out every time was just too big a pain in the ass. If only I had one of those handy-dandy Apple MagSafe things? No way. They are stupidly expensive and I wouldn’t give them money anyway. Here’s where the got wise folk come in.
I bought two things. The first was an ESR sticker for six bucks. Remember the “proprietary” ring that Apple didn’t design? I got two and a very handy little template to make sure I put it in the right spot on my case. The second was a magnetic wallet for twelve bucks. Basically the same thing I had before, but nicer – and purple! Bonus. It pops onto the phone perfectly and securely with nary a MagSafe in sight. So for less than an Andy Jackson I made my much loved Samsung Android phone do the fancy schmancy Apple trick, solving all my problems without changing any major pieces. I didn’t give the evil empire any money and I get to thumb my nose. I know that makes me just as bad as them but so be it. You have to have the little joys in life. If you’re a fellow Android user, enjoy the workaround. If you are an Apple drone, you probably stopped reading a long time ago, but if you didn’t I promise to post at some point about why you really should despise them and how they treat you. Thanks for reading.